Brent P. Newhall's Blog
Self-improvement – Sep 2008

29 Sep 08 – Writing It Down

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If you don't write things down, you'll forget them.

We all know this. We've been told this by our parents. We have an idea or we suggest some improvement, and someone says, "You'd better write that down or you'll forget it."

But most people don't do it. They nod, and laugh, and they go on to another topic of conversation. And the idea dissipates. Gone.

Why don't people write down their ideas? Why don't we record all our neat ideas? Why don't we dump them in a box and sort through them occasionally, and try out a few of them?

(I certainly do; I even keep index cards and a pencil in my left-hand pants pocket at all times, just in case an idea comes to me. Once I fill up a card, I drop it into my inbox for later processing. I mean, why not?)

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23 Sep 08 – My Website Design Portfolio

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As I've been trying to set up my freelancing business, I've had a difficult time getting work. And much of that revolved around my experience.

After going through all the sites I've worked on, I realized that I only finished a few sites. And several of those were internal company sites that I could no longer access. I couldn't demonstrate my skills.

So, I designed and built a few sample sites. They don't do anything; they just showcase some of my skills.

I then assembled a portfolio of my website designs, which I host on this site. I can now direct potential clients there, to show them what I can do.

And business immediately spiked. Whew!

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15 Sep 08 – True Narcissism vs. Reality

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'Twas talking with my Mom this weekend about a friend of ours; we'll call her "Betty." Betty has issues with certain members of her family, who are making some very difficult decisions that go against the grain of Betty's upbringing.

These family members are doing what's best for them—what will keep them safe and sane and healthy. But it goes against Betty's world view.

My Mom expressed frustration with Betty, as Betty just would not see their point of view. Had no sympathy for them.

Betty's also a narcissist. Now, that word's bandied about a lot without a solid understanding of its meaning: clinical narcissism means "denial of the true self." A clinical narcissist is so worried about protecting herself that she creates a wall so thick that nothing can get through. She presents a false front to everyone. It's so thick that even she can't get through to see her true self.

So it is with Betty.

I explained to Mom that Betty doesn't want to break down her wall. She can't, unless she wants to break out of her narcissism. As long as that wall is up, she's "safe," but she literally will have no sympathy for anyone who doesn't follow her own worldview. She can't imagine it; can barely even contemplate it.

Worse, as long as that wall is up, Betty can't acknowledge being wrong. Her worldview is the only thing that can exist, so by definition there are no other possibilities. She can't acknowledge the existence of anything outside her own worldview.

And so, my Mom understood. I wonder if Betty ever will.

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7 Sep 08 – Media Fast Reflections

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I've finished my Media Fast, and have caught up on email, blogs, etc. After reflecting on the experience, I've come to several conclusions:

My plan:

I'm planning to spend Wednesday on my big to-read pile. There's just so much there, and I want to finish a bunch of it.

I'm also planning to get through one anime disc per weekday, and several discs over the weekend. I want to be free of my media debt, so that when a new book or anime series or DVD appears, I can get to it. Boom. Get it done.

Other than that, I'm going to consciously restrict the amount of time I spend on media. No more casual relaxation with media, at least not for a while.

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2 Sep 08 – How Can I Draw Better?

I love to draw. I can't draw well, but I love doing it and coming up with something that satisfies my (very low) standards.

Tonight, I spent a couple hours drawing hair, using Mark Crilley's YouTube videos. And I'm very happy with some of the results.

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Of course, they have plenty of flaws. But I'm learning, and my flaws shrink with each drawing.

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1 Sep 08 – Media Fasting: No Media for a Week

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Today begins my week-long Media Fast, my twice-a-year vacation from all media. I avoid anything that was produced for an audience. No books, magazines, newspapers, movies, DVDs, TV, music, or blogs.

I stay reasonable about all this. If I walk into a coffee shop in which a TV sits in one corner, blaring CNN, then I don't run out screaming. I just ignore it.

I use my time this week in 4 ways:

  1. I visit local gardens, parks, and museums.
  2. I work. The Fast lets me focus on my projects more than I otherwise "can."
  3. I try odd, fun little projects I otherwise "wouldn't have the time for." I might try to write a song, or make a puppet, or cook something exotic and time-consuming.
  4. I observe my reaction to my Fast, and others' relationships to media. I'm always shocked at how much I crave a movie or book by the end of the week, and the vast quantities of media that we all consume.

And at the end of it, I'm glad to go back to my beloved books and anime, but I'm always glad I fasted. And I always think, "I should do this more often."

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