22 Dec 08 - New York City?!?

I'm back from my first trip to New York City. Briefly: It was very cold, I saw The 39 Steps, and I took a lot of pictures.

Less briefly: I'm glad I went; it's worth seeing New York at least once in your life, if just for the change of pace. It's breathtakingly diverse; there's always something to do or see. One could spend the rest of one's life just sampling restaurants.

And the people are...hurried. Not rude, though that depends on your definition. They just expect everyone to keep moving. Sit down and talk with an average New Yorker, and you'll find someone as nice as anyone else.

And, to my surprise, New Yorkers stick together. Everyone in New York feels like a native, much more so than in other places I've visited.

It's a city of movement: people moving, lights moving, taxis and bicycles moving.

I'd like to go back when it's warm, and I can take a couple of days to explore some neat parts of the city. I don't think one needs a week to appreciate New York City, but one needs more than a day or two.

As with so many things.

Posted in Misc

18 Dec 08 - Great Television, Archived Online Forever

I'm conflicted about whether I should write about the Digital Archive Project here. I don't want to get it into trouble.

See, despite TV's bad reputation, there have been a few great shows over the decades. Many of them were canceled early; others left the airwaves and have never received any other release. The only exist on a master tape in a vault somewhere in New York City, and on dusty VHS tapes scattered around the world.

Then there are shows like Mystery Science Theater 3000, in which every single episode requires license wrangling for the original movie rights.

Enter the Digital Archive Project. Its goal is to put every episode of these great shows (except those that have had a legitimate DVD release) online. Essentially forever. All in one place, using BitTorrent technology.

If you go to the site and create a free account, then click on the Categories link in the left-hand navigation pane, you're presented with a list of great old shows. MST3K. Freaks and Geeks. Max Headroom. Cartoon Planet. Brimstone.

All of them downloadable, most in high quality. Until there's a DVD release.

Now that you know about it, go forth and watch some great TV.

Posted in Misc

15 Dec 08 - Kong Kings

A few weeks ago, I watched The King of Kong, a documentary about competitive Donkey Kong players. Which sounds geeky, until you watch it.

It's about guys who take on these classic arcade games as a challenge. A test of skill. Those old games, like Pac-Man, Q-Bert, and Donkey Kong, were very hard; one group claims that the average Donkey Kong player will never progress past the third level (out of 22).

It's fascinating to watch grown men--very smart grown men--take on that sort of challenge. Sure, it takes a certain kind of person, but not the introverted nerd you might expect. The documentary focuses on two men, one of whom is a successful independent business man, and the other who looks like a middle manager at Microsoft. They each have a full-time job (well, one got inerested in Donkey Kong during a period between jobs), and a wife (and, in one case, kids).

They're just fascinated. It's a puzzle. A very hard puzzle that requires quick reflexes as well as a quick mind; the enemies move according to both complex patterns and random directions. Plus, the game has only four different screens; higher levels repeat the same screen, with more enemies that move faster and in more complicated patterns.

Not only is there nothing wrong with their fascination, it's noble. They're bettering themselves: their brains, their hand-eye coordination. They actively seek out new challenges and new frontiers to explore.

May we all do the same.

Posted in Misc

20 Nov 08 - Personal, Take 2

I haven't been able to keep up with this blog this week, due to the new job. Fortunately, it's calming down this week, so I think I'll be able to get back into a more normal blog routine next week.

It's weird, how much mental energy is required when starting a new job. I'm not overwhelmed with work; I'm overwhelmed with new inputs, even when those inputs are "just" peoples' names. All the change is painful.

And I'm someone who keeps telling folks the importance of accepting change. Can't quite take my own medicine, can I?

In any event, that's why I've been incommunicado this week, and hopefully everything will be relatively normal on Monday.

Posted in Misc

17 Nov 08 - Personal

A little personal blogging today.

I start my new job today. I'm nervous; Pop Rocks jumped around in my stomach as I drove in. Took longer than I expected, so I got in 10 minutes later than I thought I would. Which increased my nervousness.

But this is a new opportunity. A new adventure. As I heard on Sunday: you fear that which has risk, so fear is a sign that you're risking something. And risk (when it comes from the heart) is almost always good.

So, I'm risking. And excited.

Posted in Misc

12 Nov 08 - Planning for a New Job

I start my new job next week, supporting a military contract with a combination of training, configuration management, and web design. Or, at least, that's the initial charter, based on my interview.

I face a number of challenges:

1. I'll have to spend some time figuring out my real charter. Exactly what is expected of me?
2. I'll have to build relationships with several different clients, each of which will need different things from me. This will involve lots of "people skills," and some penetrating questions about what my clients really need.
3. I'll be establishing my reputation, so my work will need to be excellent (as it always needs to be, but especially now).
4. The group I'll be working with is still setting itself up, apparently, so I'll be establishing my work environment. I'll need to set up my computer for web evelopment, which requires a lot of software. Since many offices have strong restrictions on what can be installed on a system, I'll probably have to set up many work-arounds just to build a productive work environment.

Even more problematically: Much of this can't be specifically planned. While I can plan to meet with clients, I won't know who to meet until I get there, nor do I know how to deal with them.

So, while I have a basic plan, I'll need to react quickly while keeping my plan up-to-date.

And all of this must be done while I'm still learning everyone's names, remembering where the bathroom is, etc. And teaching adult ed classes every evening.

I'll be tired, stressed out, and probably cranky once I return home from my classes at night. But it's a fantastic opportunity, and by the end I'll have grown and improved.

And thank goodness for Getting Things Done.

Posted in Misc

6 Nov 08 - A Brilliant Design: The AWANA Game Circle

So, there's this Christian children's club, called AWANA. When it was founded in the 50's, its creators wanted to include athletic games in each evening's schedule. They wanted to design a system that let the kids have fun, without encouraging cut-throat competition.

So, they designed the AWANA Circle, one of the most ingenious designs I've ever seen.

It's a 40-foot square, within which is a 30-foot circle. Each side of the square is a different color: red, blue, green, and yellow. Diagonal lines (one of each color) cross the square. There's also a six-foot square in the center.

The kids are divided into four teams, one for each color, and they stand just outside the square, on their color line, facing inwards. Most of the games are running games, which involve running around the circle. So, each kid positions himself just outside the circle, next to the diagonal line, and at the starter's whistle, runs around the circle a certain number of times. After the last lap, the runner goes into the middle of the circle, where a bowling pin sits atop a bean bag. Whoever grabs the bowling pin wins first place, and whoever gets the bean bag gets second place.

Okay, seems fine. But think about this:

Because of the four-team design, kids aren't focusing on one opponent. One week, Green wins; another week, Blue wins. Kids can compete without obsessing.

Moreover, choosing colors for team names depersonalizes them a bit. There's no magic in being defeated by Blue Team, compared to being beaten by the Cougars or the Wolverines.

And because there are four teams, in a larger group with several dozen kids, that narrows down each team to a relatively small group. Kids don't get lost and forgotten in a huge team of twenty.

The system also encourages creative game design. One of my favorites is bean bag relay: one kid on each team is in the center of the circle, while eight team-mates line up just outside the circle. The center kid tosses a bean bag at each team-mate, who tosses it back, in sequence. This requires attention and precise muscle control; you can't throw it too hard or too softly. A significant challenge for an eight-year-old.

Another: bean bags are spread around inside the center square, and ten kids on each team line up just outside the circle. Each one is assigned a number. The game leader calls out a number, and that kid (on each team) runs in to grab as many bean bags as possible.

AWANA provides a number of implements, too, like batons, bean bags, and pins. But their simple nature is another important design element: kids aren't collecting anything of intrinsic value; they're not trying to grab candy bar, or win better treatment. It's all just a collection of points. And kids pick up on that. If AWANA kids lose, they're disappointed, but they shrug it off more quickly than other teams I've seen.

Imagine: competitive, physical games that don't encourage ten-year-olds to get hyper or highly competitive. What a design!

Posted in Misc

26 Oct 08 - O God Of Earth And Altar

As sung in my church last week: "O God Of Earth and Altar", words by G.K. Chesterton, melody arranged by Ralph Vaughan Williams:

O God of earth and altar, bow down and hear our cry, Our earthly rulers falter, our people drift and die; The walls of gold entomb us, the swords of scorn divide; Take not Thy thunder from us, but take away our pride. ]]>

From all that terror teaches, from lies of tongue and pen, From all the easy speeches that comfort cruel men; From sale and profanation of honor and the sword; From sleep and from damnation, deliver us, good Lord! ]]>

Tie in a living tether, the prince and priest and thrall; Bind all our lives together, smite us and save us all; In ire and exultation aflame with faith and free, Lift up a living nation, a single sword to Thee. ]]>

In other news, thanks to all the attendees of my third annual Halloween Party last night! A total of 12 attendees this year. The apple pie and cakes went quickly, as did the party mix. I was a bit surprised that folks barely touched the hot apple cider and mashed sweet potatoes, especially on a wet autumn night like this one. Nevertheless, 'twas a fun night, as usual.

Posted in Misc

12 Oct 08 - Thoughts on Game Development

So I'm working on this tabletop RPG system, Gunwave. The goal is to make a fun group game that imitates the fast action of an anime action series with giant robots. Lots of Mega Beams, psychic blasts, and charging at your enemy while screaming about the futility of war.

A few things I've learned:

1. It takes time. Time to write, time to tweak, time to review, and time to playtest. A really clear rule set requires a lot of words, often re-arranged many times to achieve optimal clarity.
2. Playtesting is key. I thought I had a great system, until I sat down with some players. We had fun, but obvious problems with the system reared their head quickly. Every playtester has been worth their weight in fusion reactors.
3. Get lots of feedback. This ties into playtesting. At the end of every playtesting session, ask the players lots of questions. Ask them what worked and what didn't. Ask them if a particular fight was fun. Ask them what could have made it better. Ask them what they'd like to see. Ask them what could be dropped. I've also sought advice on various RPG design forums, including Chatty DM's Forums and RPGnet's Game Design Forum. Lots of people are just waiting to give you advice. Much of it can be ignored, but some of it will massively improve your game.
4. Take lots of notes. Playtesters, critiquers, and friends will toss out all sorts of ideas, especially at the end of playtests. Write them all down. Many won't work as they stand, but will give you a great idea when you review them a week later. You'll get ideas at odd moments, too (showering, driving to work, etc.) -- write those down, too, and toss them into the pile. I currently have a text file with 328 lines of Gunwave notes (the vast majority of those lines contain at least one idea).
5. Expect extensive changes. The current version of the system looks almost nothing like the first one. I completely changed the dice mechanic halfway through, requiring changes to almost every page of the rule set, and a completely new look at how every dice roll worked. And it made the game fit my goals better. Speaking of which:
6. What do you want out of your system? Define it. Fast? Simple? Comprehensive? Atmospheric? Hint: "Fun" doesn't count.
7. Make it look nice. I use NeoOffice to format my documents, and I've deliberately learned a lot of neat features that make it look professional (different styles for different types of content, headers displaying the current chapter name, an automatically-generated index, etc.) Folks have commented on and gotten excited about the Player's Handbook just because it looks nice.

Posted in Misc

9 Oct 08 - Keith Ferrazzi's Online Community, Greenlight

If you've never read Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone, well, go out and read it now. It's an inspiring call to action, insisting that we all need to build a big network of friends and associates. Not a stereotypical marketer's network of barely-remembered business contacts, but a close-knit (while also large) community.

He has a website, of course, but he's also built an online forum-based community, Greenlight. It's a place where people can talk about their problems and perspectives. Very valuable.

I must point out that it has some early-commmunity problems. Much of the content is currently requests for advice, followed by vague suggestions. A lot of folks show enthusiasm that doesn't seem to translate into specific real-world action (there are posts like "This is a great place! I can't wait to do great things here!" with no further action).

But that's normal for any forum. The site already features a variety of interesting discussions, including Simple formula for success, burnout at work - balance, and kindness a weakness at work?. Well worth checking out.

Posted in Misc

8 Oct 08 - Doing a World of Good

One of the neat things about the web is the way it connects people with businesses, products, services, and other people that they wouldn't otherwise have known about. There are just so many neat things out there.

And sometimes, those things are good for everyone involved.

Such is the case with WorldOfGood.com, an eBay-sponsored site of cool products made by individuals and eco-friendly small businesses around the globe. The idea: connect Brazilian farmers, African jewelry makers, Indian paper-makers, middle American housewives, and Eastern European weavers with those who can buy their work.

Everybody wins: shoppers get cool, distinctive, high-quality objects--like journals, serving bowls, and necklaces--and the producers get a good price for their work.

If you're looking for memorable gifts, WorldOfGood is a great place to start.

Posted in Misc

2 Oct 08 - Vinnie Veritas

I've had this song running through my head for the past few days: Jumbo's "Dia". It's a Mexican pop song.

Dia - Jumbo

The reason? An awesome Flash animation called Rush 2 from Vinnie Veritas.

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Vinnie is a Mexican artist who draw simple pen-and-ink drawings, mostly set in a place called "CCC City." It's a pulp urban fantasy setting, where teens and young adults in cargo pants and halter tops carry swords and guns, chatting and fighting and running and searching for each other. It's wildly imaginative. Rush 2 features a "day in the life" of CCC City, while his other videos feature things like a sweet little adventure story (Ho te amo), a kite running amok through a city (Papalote), and a silly, fast-paced railroad chase (The Chase).

Every time I watch one of his animations, I smile. They're light-hearted, with a certain kind of innocence--nobody ever dies, despite the number of guns and explosions happening every day.

Posted in Misc

26 Sep 08 - Jonathan Coulton

Last week I blogged about Geoff Smith, a "geek musician." Today, I'm going to blog about arguably the biggest geek musician, Jonathan Coulton.

He's undoubtedly best known for composing the end credits song for the game Portal, "Still Alive," though he also wrote the programmer anthem "Code Monkey." They're both great little songs.

He's written much more music than that. In fact, he's written dozens and dozens of songs, thanks to a friend suggesting that he write a song a week. So he did.

Whereas Geoff Smith has a Beatles vibe, Coulton's a bit more like They Might Be Giants. His songs are quirky, but usually have a neat twist or emotional theme despite the odd theme.

For example, "Skullcrusher Mountain" is a love song, sung by an evil mastermind to the girl he's kidnapped. There's an odd, desperate sadness to it. "Code Monkey" is about a programmer's love for a co-worker, which he can't quite bring himself to do anything about. "Flickr" is composed entirely of photo titles from Flickr, and after a while does give you a feel for the breathtaking number of hobbies and interests out there.

Best of all, he offers all his music as standard MP3 downloads off his site, for $1 each ($10 per album). You can also listen to previews of each, and he offers a rotating set of his songs free.

The songs are fun and poignant. Worth a try.

Posted in Misc

22 Sep 08 - Scam from Golden Living (formerly Beverly Enterprises)?

Today, I received a letter from "Golden Living (formerly Beverly Enterprises)." This company runs nursing homes and assisted living facilities. I twas originally sent to a "Mary Newhall" near me (and I'm from a small family with no nearby relatives named "Newhall"), but was redirected to me. It reads:

DEAR FRIEND: ]]>

OUR RECORDS INDICATE THAT YOU ARE THE OWNER OF THE FUNDS REPRESENTED BY THE ITEM LISTED BELOW. NO TRANSACTION OR ACTIVITY HAS BEEN NOTED FOR A SIGNIFICANT TIME. IF YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN THESE FUNDS AND WISH TO PREVENT SUCH FUNDS FROM BEING REPORTED TO THE STATE, PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURES: ]]>

* PROVIDE YOUR CURRENT ADDRESS, TELEPHONE NUMBER AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER * OR TAX IDENTIFICATION NUMBER IF YOU ARE A BUSINESS * SIGN AND RETURN THIS INFORMATION PROMPTLY TO THE ADDRESS BELOW FOR PAYMENT * IF PERSON RETURNING FORM IS NOT THE ADDRESSEE, PLEASE ENCLOSE A COPY OF THE WILL OR POWER OF ATTORNEY TO SHOW THAT THESE FUNDS ARE RIGHTFULLY YOURS. ]]>

GOLDEN LIVING (FORMERLY BEVERLY ENTERPRISES) 1000 FIANNA WAY FORT SMITH, AR 72919-4118 ATTN: T. J. STIGA ]]>

This is followed by fill-in fields for signature, SSN/tax ID, address, and phone number. Certainly smells like a scam.

What's interesting is that the company itself is certainly legitimate, and the included address is indeed the registered address of the business's headquarters (according to Forbes). It looks like one of its employees is running a scam through their headquarters.

The letter includes no other contact information (e.g., phone number) for this "T.J. Stiga," which certainly arouses my suspicions, besides the fact that disbursing funds like this should involve much more rigorous procedures than just sending a letter saying "give us your SSN and we'll send you money from this person's account."

What's even more interesting is that a quick Google search reveals a T.J. Stiga living at 2100 S V St, Fort Smith, AR, with a home phone number of 479-782-8576, as well as a Facebook page. I'm tempted to call him up.

Anyway, if you see a letter like this from "Golden Living," beware.

Posted in Misc

11 Sep 08 - The Orwell Diaries

The British group 'The Orwell Prize' is now posting the diaries of George Orwell online, exactly 70 years later. So, on September 10^th 2008, they posted Orwell's entry for September 10^th 1938.

Fascinating. His entries up to this point have mostly logged the nature and people around him. Little of surpassing genius; just a little diary of weather and such.

Comforting, in a way, to know that such a great writer penned such ordinary diary entries. On the other hand, I fully expect it to eventually tilt towards genius.

Posted in Misc

9 Sep 08 - Discover Card's Hard Sell

I have a friend. Her mother, sadly, has Alzheimer's and lives in a nursing home, so my friend manages her mother's finances for her. For convenience, my friend often answers the phone as her mother when her mother's financial institutions call. Otherwise, she spends several minutes explaining the situation to a confused phone rep.

So recently my friend got a call from her Mom's Discover card about a large charge. No problem; it was a proper charge. But then the Discover representative asked if she wanted to sign up for some extended insurance plan. My friend politely declined.

My friend was then subjected to a hard sell that went on for minutes. The Discover rep kept insisting that she really did want this insurance plan, using phrases like, "You want to be protected, don't you? You want to keep your money safe, don't you?"

My friend was frankly astonished at this tactic, which is clearly aimed at preying on old peoples' fears of losing their money. And it just went on and on. We all know how quickly one can wear down an old person's resistance. It was remarkably unprofessional, especially from a financial institution.

It's a terrible discovery about Discover.

(OK, sorry, bad pun.)

Posted in Misc

8 Sep 08 - Cool Words of the Month

I like to open the dictionary to a random page and note down cool words, once a month. It's a good writing exercise, and it introduces me to new words. I also rediscover words that just look neat or sound beautiful.

This month's cool words:

• Faro - a card game used for gambling, its name probably derived from "Pharoah"
• Farrago - a medley or collection of miscellaneous items
• Farrow - to produce pigs
• Fatigue - military clothing
• Fawn - a young deer

Posted in Misc

5 Sep 08 - Polymeme - Unusual News

Polymeme is a website devoted to "intelligent content that lies beyond the usual echo chambers of tech news, celebrity gossip or American politics."

This doesn't mean off-beat stories; Polymeme specializes in articles about subjects we care about, but from perspectives we don't normally see. For example:

• From The Independent -- Solar panels 'take 100 years to pay back installation costs'
• From IdeaBlob -- Designing educational math toys for US and developing markets
• From Silk Road International Blog -- Where to locate your factory? I've been to Shanghai once, China looks good

The only drawback is the sheer breadth of subjects--much of it is bound to appeal to only a relatively small audience. But it's a great opportunity to broaden one's mind.

Posted in Misc

28 Aug 08 - Record Your Family's Stories With Famento

Genealogy's a big hobby. Today's site lies on the lighter end of that hobby, for those who just want to keep track of their close and extended family.

If you sign up at Famento, you can create pages for members of your family, upload photos, and write biographies for each of them. There's also a guestbook where friends and family members can leave comments. The site is entirely free.

Famento was created by two Asian friends, one who wanted to build a permanent memorial of her grandmother, and the other who wanted to record her family's histories.

Posted in Misc

26 Aug 08 - Ela: Legend of Light!

Just stumbled across a very odd video called Ela: Legend of Light. It's a combination live-action/CGI short film, made in Argentina, that very much evokes 1980's American cartoons. One of its directors describes it as "a weird mix between She-Ra, Tron, and Flash Gordon," a fairly accurate description.

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Besides the He-Man/She-Ra feel, I noticed what I think are references to Rescuers Down Under and The Neverending Story. Odd and inventive. Neat to see weird, fun creations like this.

Posted in Misc

20 Aug 08 - Uncle Morty's Dub Shack

Imagine a bunch of twenty-somethings getting their hands on a dubbing rig and a bunch of old, cheesy kung fu films. Now imagine that they threw out the old audio tracks and completely redubbed scenes from the films.

That's Uncle Morty's Dub Shack, currently airing on ImaginAsian TV. Here are a few YouTube clips to give you an idea of their humor (despite the titles, they're all clean):

• Exploding Apples
• Red Ninja Sex Slave
• The Oldest Mugger in the World
• Insomniac

Hilarious in strange, postmodern ways.

Posted in Misc

18 Aug 08 - Brent Gets Blasted with High-Powered Soda

I enjoy making homemade soda. It's usually delicious, and I have no problems.

Except with ginger ale. For some reason, ginger ale gets incredibly carbonated. Explosively carbonated.

So, when I found an old bottle of it in the back of the fridge, I figured I'd do a Diet-Coke-and-Mentos sort of video. I took it outside and filmed myself opening it.

Didn't quite work out as planned.

Soda Fountain - Ginger Ale Version from Brent Newhall on Vimeo.

If that weren't enough, I found a bottle of strawberry soda, and decided to open that. Which worked out even less like I'd planned.

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Soda Fountain - Strawberry Soda Version from Brent Newhall on Vimeo.

Ah well.

Posted in Misc

12 Aug 08 - What is Gunwave?

I'm developing Gunwave, a tabletop RPG for playing war with giant robots. You get to play the pilot of a giant robot in the midst of a big war.

If you're not familiar with tabletop RPGs: Imagine a game of "Let's pretend," but with defined rules. The hero you play has this much strength and charisma, and that much intelligence.

You play in the traditional tabletop format: a bunch of players, and a Game Master (GM) who describes a scenario, and adjudicates the players' responses.

Okay, now that that's clear: Gunwave is designed for casual gamers. Folks who haven't played tabletop RPGs before, but want to immerse themselves in a difficult era and smash up some giant robots.

As such, Gunwave uses relatively few stats to track characters and mecha (the giant robots). Characters have:

• A few basic stats, like health and charisma
• A race (the universe is full of mutants, psychics, and aliens, if you wish)
• A specialty (spy, munitions, hand-to-hand combat, leader, etc.)
• Skills (perception, diplomacy, martial arts, hacking, etc.)
• Powers (psychic blasts, flash of insight, desperate block, etc.)

Mecha consist of a few attributes, like armor and speed, and their own powers. Plus, of course, weapons; there are 18 of them, plus various kinds of ammo.

I borrowed powers from the D&D fourth edition rules (which was a strong inspiration for Gunwave). Powers replicate the surprising spin, the leap forward to rescue a friend, the psychic blast, and the unexpected resilience of a cool mecha pilot. Some powers can be used as often as desired (they often change the rules of an attack to give you an advantage over certain foes), some can only be used once per fight, and others once per day (these usually do massive damage or provide life-saving assistance).

What's really interesting about all this, though, is the kind of story this supports. I love Gundam because of its stance on war, and showing how powerful and destructive and tragic it is. This lets me tell those sorts of stories, but in an exciting, entertaining way.

I hope.

I've been playtesting the game with a bunch of friends, and thanks to all of you who've helped me so far. It's not ready for a wider release yet, since I'm changing it so much. It's a fascinating little project.

Posted in Misc

5 Aug 08 - I Love W.H. Auden's Poetry

Been reading some W.H. Auden lately. Breathtaking. I don't read enough poetry.

September 1, 1939

by W.H.Auden

I sit in one of the dives On Fifty-second Street Uncertain and afraid As the clever hopes expire Of a low dishonest decade: Waves of anger and fear Circulate over the bright And darkened lands of the earth, Obsessing our private lives; The unmentionable odour of death Offends the September night. Accurate scholarship can Unearth the whole offence From Luther until now That has driven a culture mad, Find what occurred at Linz, What huge imago made A psychopathic god: I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn, Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return. Exiled Thucydides knew All that a speech can say About Democracy, And what dictators do, The elderly rubbish they talk To an apathetic grave; Analysed all in his book, The enlightenment driven away, The habit-forming pain, Mismanagement and grief: We must suffer them all again. Into this neutral air Where blind skyscrapers use Their full height to proclaim The strength of Collective Man, Each language pours its vain Competitive excuse: But who can live for long In an euphoric dream; Out of the mirror they stare, Imperialism's face And the international wrong. Faces along the bar Cling to their average day: The lights must never go out, The music must always play, All the conventions conspire To make this fort assume The furniture of home; Lest we should see where we are, Lost in a haunted wood, Children afraid of the night Who have never been happy or good. The windiest militant trash Important Persons shout Is not so crude as our wish: What mad Nijinsky wrote About Diaghilev Is true of the normal heart; For the error bred in the bone Of each woman and each man Craves what it cannot have, Not universal love But to be loved alone. From the conservative dark Into the ethical life The dense commuters come, Repeating their morning vow; 'I will be true to the wife, I'll concentrate more on my work,' And helpless governors wake To resume their compulsory game: Who can release them now, Who can reach the dead, Who can speak for the dumb? All I have is a voice To undo the folded lie, The romantic lie in the brain Of the sensual man-in-the-street And the lie of Authority Whose buildings grope the sky: There is no such thing as the State And no one exists alone; Hunger allows no choice To the citizen or the police; We must love one another or die. Defenseless under the night Our world in stupor lies; Yet, dotted everywhere, Ironic points of light Flash out wherever the Just Exchange their messages: May I, composed like them Of Eros and of dust, Beleaguered by the same Negation and despair, Show an affirming flame. ]]>

Posted in Misc

30 Jul 08 - The Amazing Tekkon Kinkreet

I just watched the anime film Tekkon Kinkreet. I'm not going to review it.

Instead, I'm going to talk about its history. It was originally a somewhat sketchy manga, picked up by an expatriate American freshly dropped in Japan ten years ago. It hit him. Hard. Right between the eyes.

He'd just closed down his own company and moved to Japan. The manga told the story of an outsider, a kid, in a world that he no longer knew. It described this kid's dark side, and his power, and his tenacity.

This American ached to make a movie out of this. So, he worked his way up through the anime industry, getting to know folks, until he convinced the right people that he should direct an adaptation of this manga. And he got four million dollars with which to do it.

Anime films are rare in Japan. You'll get a yearly Pokemon or Naruto movie, and every so often something from Studio Ghibli, but outside of that there are precious few movie-length anime. So this was remarkable.

Then, halfway through production, the crew reviewed the movie so far. The film was confusing and muddled. Most of the animation was still incomplete. They suffered a major blow. I saw the video; they all looked like they'd just been told their mother died.

So they talked about it, and thought about it, and rallied, and moved forward.

And they made it. They released a film of beauty, depth, and emotional power. Oh, I could point out flaws; so what? He achieved his dream. And his dream is beautiful.

Posted in Misc

22 Jul 08 - My Depression Lifts...Time To Rock

And sure enough, my depression has lifted. I spent last night at my parents' house, talking over my finances, and I've decided on a course of action.

Context: I have about 2 months of expenses left in my checking account. While I've made some money from web development, it's a quarter of what I'd need to pay my bills. I've received a few emails from folks interested in tutoring, but none of them have committed. None of my short stories have been accepted yet. I'm not making enough money to continue this, considering my savings.

Resolution: I'm going to contact a temp agency, and look for part-time or full-time temporary tech work, at least for the next couple of months. I'll continue to advertise tutoring and submit stories to magazines, in the hopes I can build that up to full-scale income by the end of November.

I don't want to give up on freelancing. However, it hasn't worked yet, and I need to give it more time. So, this will do it.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm going to have an exhausting few months, as I'll also teach all evening Mondays through Wednesdays. But that's a price I'll need to pay.

Now, to move forward.

Posted in Misc

20 Jul 08 - Personal Stuff

Lack of blog updates here. Mainly because I've been depressed lately. It comes in waves, and much of the time I've felt okay. But...all is not right, internally, despite all being well externally. I've no reason to complain.

But such is life. The mind and the heart are incomprehensibly complex systems. (I hesitate to call them "systems," as that implies reducible rules.) Emotions don't always derive from obvious causes.

So, as with so many other things, I must ride this storm out, and be stronger for its passing.

Once I do, this blog will resume.

Posted in Misc

8 Jul 08 - Saalon, The Weekend, and Podcasting

So Saalon came down last weekend to hang out. He DM'ed a D&D 4^th Edition game for me and some friends; a grand time was had by all. We beat the X-Men arcade game, and played Super Gem Fighter Mini-Mix, and generally hung out.

One of the friends was Nick, so while we were together, we sat down in my studio and recorded a podcast.

So we clustered around my laptop, where I pulled up Audacity, hit the Record button, and away we went. 'Twas a strange situation.

We first started talking together when we all trooped to Otakon last year. We conversed with surprising ease, and when we agreed to try recording a podcast together over Skype, I was again surprised to hear our conversation flow smoothly and naturally. We respect each other. We can disagree and challenge each other, while really listening to each others' points of view.

So this was our first podcast recorded while sitting in the same room together. And it worked. Smooth as silk.

I'm a bit perturbed by the mediocre audio, but we were all leaning in to my laptop microphone. It's certainly audible, but I wish I had a good microphone. I wish I knew of a good microphone that costs less than $100. At least my studio has carpeting and one concrete wall, so there was minimal echo.

Overall, a great success, and I'm glad we did it.

(Oh, and this means that episode 4 of Otaku, No Video is out.)

Posted in Misc

30 Jun 08 - My New Podcast - Otaku, No Video

Saalon, a friend named Nick, and I have been working on a fun little project for the past month or so. It takes some time to get three people together on a regular schedule. Now that the schedule's stabilized, I'm now announcing our new podcast.

We're doing a podcast called Otaku, No Video, a series of hour-long conversations about the anime industry and specific anime series. We discuss trends in the industry, what we see as problems, potential solutions, and our thoughts on various anime.

Amazingly, I'm even happier with it than I anticipated. I enjoy re-listening to our talks. We have useful, interesting things to say, and the conversation bounces from topic to topic. We keep the conversation from getting too geeky, as well; pretty much anyone should be able to understand it.

So, please check it out and let me know what you think (especially now that comments work here). I'd love to hear your feedback on what we doesn't work, and what does.

(In case you're wondering about the name, it's a reference to a classic anime parody named Otaku no Video, or The Anime Fan's Video, which told the story of anime fans in Japan in the 80's. Quite funny, and an insightful look into what anime fandom was like back then.)

Posted in Misc

21 Jun 08 - Visiting a Local Carnival

For my weekly adventure, I checked Upcoming for a list of events in my area, and noticed a carnival nearby. So I went.

Carnivals are usually much more fun in memory than in present. Carnivals should be fun, exciting, lively, with a hint of danger. You always wonder what the carnies do behind the plywood. What lives do they lead, what secrets will they never tell?

This was a small carnival, and the company's based in this state. The website promises safety and courtesy, and that's what you get: about a dozen rides, half a dozen games of chance, and another half-dozen food stands. Nicely spread out, but at mid-afternoon on a hot day, the bright sunlight bleaches away the suspense and hints of danger.

So I had a hot dog, and a huge piece of frozen cheesecake on a stick, dipped in chocolate. The carnies were pleasant enough, if bored, and it was just too small.

Perhaps I should go back at night. Everything changes at night.

Either way, here are a few photos:

www.flickr.com]]>

UPDATE: I went back the next night, and they closed at dusk. So I only got a few more photos of the rides as night fell. Disappointing, but at least I got a few interesting photos out of it.

Posted in Misc

16 Jun 08 - Voicemails

After listening to too many bad voicemails recently, here are a few suggestions when leaving a voicemail:

• Start with both names, yours and that of the person you're calling. How many times have you got a voicemail saying, "Hi, just letting you know everything's okay. Call me, okay?" Who is it? You have to infer from the voice. Not only is it nice to leave both names, it grounds the conversation in a particular person and gets my attention, so I'm able to tune in to the main point of the message without also trying to guess who's talking.
• Continue the conversation. Many voicemails are simply "Hi, this is Joan, please call me back." That's not very helpful, is it? When you call someone, it's almost always to ask a question or provide an answer, right? Please do so.
• Leave your phone number. I may have it...or I may not. If I do have it, it may be in an address book that I can't get to at the moment. Always leave your phone number, except with very close friends.
• Keep it brief. Since I started using these guidelines, I can't recall leaving a voicemail more than 1.5 minutes long. If you have a lot of information to provide, a voicemail's a poor place to put it. Leave a voicemail saying that you'll drop the person an email with all the details.

At least, that's what I think.

Posted in Misc

29 May 08 - Smile, Blast You!

Some websites are informational. Some are entertainment. The Institute of Official Cheer is both. It's an archive of old newspaper ads, comic books, children's books, and strange magazine inserts. It pokes fun at the past, but with a twinkle in its eye; the proprietor (James Lileks) knows that they were just doing their best.

I bring this up because I spent a good chunk of today delving into its many, many subsites. There's just so much content here, and Lileks's writing skewers it with precision and style.

Posted in Misc

20 May 08 - 20 May 08

I heard this in a recentl Manager Tools podcast: Until you've got something, you've got nothing.

It struck a powerful chord. As I chat with folks via Twitter and follow others' blogs, I realize that I have little to offer. A bit here and there: a few written stories, some credits. But precious little accomplished, in either the real or the digital worlds.

So, how to accomplish things? Rid one's self of distractions. Hole up with a bunch of food, severely limit external interaction, and work. I may not need to be quite that extreme, but I think it's important.

Which is why, today, I switched off Twitter and FriendFeed, and I plan to keep them off until I actually produce something. A finished product or service of some sort.

Heck, I may keep them off until enough of my friends get on there. Just one more distraction, after all.

Posted in Misc

14 May 08 - Coffee

Brennen writes:

Coffee is a thing you drink when it's not the right time of day to drink bourbon. -- His excellent May 14 entry

Posted in Misc

11 May 08 - 11 May 08

Back from a weekend retreat with some church high schoolers.

I won't bore you with the details, and will instead go straight to the conclusions: I learned that efforts to meet new people are usually worthwhile. And when they aren't, it's very clear and you can move right along. I learned not to trust second-hand information. I learned that the best way to meet folks in a large group is to attend one of their special functions. I learned that a true retreat is one which removes you from your routine permanently.

So I'm planning to revise my routine tomorrow morning.

Posted in Misc

7 May 08 - 7 May 08

FYI, I'll be at a retreat this weekend that has no cellphone or internet coverage, so I'll be completely out of touch for Saturday and most of Sunday.

Posted in Misc

4 May 08 - Iron Man's Director

Went and saw Iron Man. No, I'm not going to review it, except to say I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I do want to point out the benefits of having Jon Favreau directing. He got started in Hollywood by witing Swingers and directing Elf. He's a comedy and drama director.

This gives him great respect for dialogue. The actors sound like they're realling talking to each other, instead of intoning lines.

And the movie moves. Many action movies suffer from an uneven "suspension bridge" structure, where the action scenes are the towers and everything else is suspension cables. You spend most of the movie on suspension cables, waiting for the next good part.

Not so Iron Man; everything besides the action is kept interesting enough--funny, well-acted--to keep you watching.

Indie film directors can't afford to make a bad film. So give them a solid property that they like, and you'll get a solid film.

Posted in Misc

29 Apr 08 - The Things To Do

R. Buckminster Fuller:

The things to do are: the things that need doing: that you see need to be done, and that no one else seems to see need to be done. Then you will conceive of your own way of doing that which needs to be done--that no one else has told you to do or how to do it. This will bring out the real you that often gets buried inside a character that has acquired a superficial array of behaviors induced or imposed by others on the individual. Try making experiments of anything you conceive and are intensely interested in. Don't be disappointed if something doesn't work. That is what you want to know--the truth about everything--and then the truth about combinations of things. Some combinations have such logic and integrity that they can work coherently despite non-working elements embraced by their system. You will find the world responding to your earnest initiative.

Posted in Misc

28 Apr 08 - 28 Apr 08

Wrote 2,500 words of tutorials for Your Online Life, my next major venture. Not bad. But I need to write at a much faster pace if I want to get this site done by Friday.

I'm worried that I'm over-reaching myself. I've started to look at other money-making opportunities, too. I may have to supplement my income with some web-based consulting work; anyone have any recommendations for good websites?

Meanwhile, I'm advertising my tutoring services on Craig's List. We'll see what happens, won't we?

Posted in Misc

27 Apr 08 - The Weekend and Slow-Motion Iguanas

Back from another great trip to see Saalon and LWQuestie (their IRC names, to presere anonymity). We watched Hard Boiled, which is certainly the best John Woo film I've seen. Though granted, I've only seen another, A Better Tomorrow.

Came back and been watching cheesy sci-fi films from the 1950's and 60's. Most are oddly earnest. They want to be true to themselves, despite the incoherent plots and poor editing.

But, for example, the one I'm watching right now features the classic slow-motion iguana as a dinosaur. Was this convincing at any point after Flash Gordon?

Posted in Misc

21 Apr 08 - Customer Flow in a Modern Bistro

A local Asian bistro organizes its flow of people in a way I don't think I've seen before.

You enter on the left side of the restaurant. Along the left wall are giant menus, so while you're waiting you can choose your food. The menu is made up of proteins and sauces, so you choose, say, "chicken" along with "sweet and sour sauce." In front of you, in the corner, is a counter where you order your food and pay for it. You're then given a large red disk with a number on it, along with your drinks.

Next to the counter, and along the back wall, is the kitchen, separated from the rest of the restaurant by a low wall. So you can see the food as it's being prepared.

The rest of the bistro is made up of tables. Each table has a cylinder with chopsticks in it, and in the center is a thin pole with a clip at the top. You find a table, sit down, and clip your red disk here. When your order is ready, it's brought directly to your table.

This is admirably efficient. The restaurant needs only one server; you take your own drinks to your table, so the server's only job is to take food to tables. There's no need to print up menus, either.

The problem is cultural dissonance. You walk in, and there's nobody to guide you. You stand in a line next to a giant menu, then you get up to a counter where you're expected to remember your combination of protein and sauce. Then you're handed a disk and told to go sit down.

This is uncomfortable for a first-time visitor, and nothing will make it seem familiar. Even after the food has been delivered, the visitor will still remember the discomfort of ordering. The logic of it won't erase the emotional feeling.

It rarely does.

Posted in Misc

17 Apr 08 - Paati o shimasu!

Just finished a very fun dinner party at my house, just my parents and a friend. If you ever need a business manager, hire Julie Brown. (If she had a blog, I'd link to it.)

These dinner parties are fun and interesting. The idea: I want to get interesting people together. My ideal would be to have each participant say during a conversation a week from now, "Oh, yeah, I was talking to someone who does that at a party a few days ago. Lemme call Brent and get her number."

Heck, I know plenty of people. And I know that because I sat down and wrote out all my contacts. Wouldn't it be nice to put 'em together and see what happens?

Posted in Misc

14 Apr 08 - The Machine

Here's the arcade game cabinet, which I've dubbed "The Machine":

And here's the full list of games I have installed and running on it:

• Asteroids
• Battle Zone
• Centipede
• Castlevania (original)
• Contra
• Defender
• Dig Dug
• Donkey Kong
• Donkey Kong Jr.
• Donkey Kong 3
• Frogger
• Galaga
• Golden Axe
• Gorf
• Heavy Barrel
• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
• Joust
• The King of Dragons (Golden Axe clone, but very very good)
• Lunar Lander
• Macross Plus (vertical shooter)
• Mega Man
• Mega Man 2
• Mega Man 3
• Missle Command
• Mobile Suit Gundam (Street Fighter clone)
• Mobile Suit Gundam EX Revue (better Street Fighter clone)
• Ms. Pac-Man
• Q*bert
• Rampage
• Shinobi
• Sinistar
• Sonic the Hedgehog
• Space Fury
• Star Wars
• Street Fighter II: The World Warrior
• Super Gem Fighter Mini Mix (cutesy versions of various beat-em-up characters fight each other)
• Super Spacefortress Macross (vertical shooter)
• Super Spacefortress Macross II (side-scrolling shooter)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Turtles in Time
• Tempest
• Tron
• X-Men (four-playing side-scrolling beat-em-up)
• X-Men: Children of the Atom (Street Fighter clone)
• Xybots (technologically amazing first-person game)
• Zaxxon

Yeah, I'm having fun with it. Play every day. Now I just need to get a marquee and side art. And coin slots (that wouldn't require coins). And install lighting for the marquee.

Posted in Misc

11 Apr 08 - Recent Activity, and The Doctor

No question, I'm enjoying my time off. I scheduled a few major projects today, but the weather was so gorgeous I finally decided to stop and enjoy it. And after a couple hours of sitting in the garden, a glass of iced tea in one hand and a book in the other, I got to work painting. So it all worked out.

Then held a Skypecast with a compatriot from Accidental Creative, and sat back and watched DVDs. I'm nearing the end of Overman King Gainer, an anime mecha series with fantastic character development. And I watched an entire classic "Doctor Who" miniseries, "The Genesis of the Daleks."

I've been a long time coming around to Doctor Who. I forced myself to watch bits and pieces on PBS during my teens, mainly because of the size of its fanbase. There was some good writing and acting, on occasion, but it was mostly pure cheese.

Then I got used to it. I realized that the cheese was okay. I could enjoy it, and/or look past it. I found that Doctor Who excels at adventurous SF. It's a bit like the Republic serials; sure, the sets are cardboard. That's not the point.

Posted in Misc

31 Mar 08 - Arcade Game Cabinet - The Plan

So I'm building an arcade game cabinet. In talking with a student today, I realized I haven't blogged about this at all. Whoops.

Arcade game cabinet? Yes, like in the arcades. Black, sloped, with a few rounded corners. I've already grabbed a spare computer from a closet, got a free big old monitor from a friend, and bought an X-Arcade controller pad.

The cabinet is made of three pieces of MDF, 4'x8'. I brought it all out to my parents' house. Dad and I cut two pieces--the sides--into 3'x6' sections, then cut a large 10"x10" notch three feet from the bottom. That's where the controller will rest. We cut a 2'x6' section for the front, then cut that into sections for a door at the bottom, and a hole at the top for the monitor. There's a 2'x2' platform about four and a half feet up, which the monitor rests on.

We screwed the pieces to a few 2x2-inch boards inside, to keep it stable, and added a few two-foot-wide sections on the back for stability. We put hinges and a handle on the door, and cut a three foot wide platform for the controller. In a fit of excitement, we also cut a piece for a marquee at the top (I think I'll order a custom one from MAME Marquees).

That's about it. Once the rain stops, I'll spray paint it black, bring it home, and plug everything in. And I'll have a complete custom arcade game cabinet loaded with several dozen games, from Asteroids to Galaga to Joust to Ms. Pac-Man to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to X-Men: Children of the Atom.

Posted in Misc

24 Mar 08 - Moving On

OK, so I should probably explain to you all what's going on.

I'm leaving the CM group at Rockwell Collins STS. The engineering group is creating a new part-time position that they plan to offer me, which will be open in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, I'll relax and recharge, and I'll pursue other part-time work.

Why? I'm thirty-one. I've learned a lot. I want to chart my own career course. I want to work from home on a variety of work, instead of living dependent on one source of income.

I want to wake up in the morning, take a deep breath, and know I'm in for an adventure today. To live by my wits. To hunt my pay.

And if that doesn't work out, I'll find a full-time job somewhere. I'm giving myself a few months to try this out, and see I can make of it.

It's worth a try.

Posted in Misc

10 Mar 08 - 10 Mar 08

It's been a weird seven days since my last post. Lots of things going on that I don't want to talk about here, because...well, why not? I don't want the wrong people to find out. I can't think of a single "wrong person."

I'm thinking of leaving my current full-time job at Rockwell Collins STS. Planning to, actually, some time in April. Mainly because I'm bored to tears with my current responsibilities, and our division isn't winning new contracts, and several coworkers are increasingly hard to work with.

It's evolved into more than that. I want to make it on my own. I want to try freelancing, taking on part-time programming work and copyediting jobs and tutoring. I want to live by my wits and my ability to hunt work.

The idea excites me, far more than going in to work every morning and sitting in the same chair for eight hours. It enlivens me, literally.

All sorts of reasons not to, of course. And it's amazing how many people will counsel you against something like this. Like it's an affront to their own desperate need for a false sense of security. I keep reminding myself of all the reasons to take the leap. I want to feel that electric sensation of being alive, of seeing things with clarity, of not having to feel grey all day.

I watched a bit of Office Space today, and I started identifying with Peter. Something's wrong.

Posted in Misc

3 Mar 08 - A New Animation

I'm working on a 2D short animation. By myself. Yes, I'm nuts.

I'm blogging about it at Animation From Scratch. Lots of detailed musings about animation there that don't really fit on this blog (at least, not to that level of detail). Two posts thus far, each pretty long.

In other news, I wouldn't mind a different job right now.

Posted in Misc

29 Feb 08 - Metrics Are Good?

Busy, busy week at work. Barely had time to work on other projects.

I have decided that I'd better start measuring my various projects. Otherwise, they stay as ignored goals on the walls of my studio.

I'm leery of measurement; we live in an overly analytical world. But I think this sort of measurement is justified. A way of saying, "I'm here, and I want to be there, and if I see the gulf, I'll figure out how to cross it."

Posted in Misc

6 Feb 08 - 6 Feb 08

A few bits and pieces:

• Back from a trip to see Brennen in Colorado. A beautiful place, and a great guy to talk with for a weekend. I feel privileged to know him. And I'd love to see that generic document markup language.
• There's a great little article at Gamasutra about the Fun of Super Mario Galaxy (free registration may be required). It mentions the four types of fun: hard fun (beating a challenge), easy fun (exploration, manipulating the environment, etc.), social fun, and what I'll call sense-a-wunder fun (amazement and wonder at abilities, plot twists, etc.). Most games focus only on hard fun; great games include several of them. Super Mario Galaxy has all of them.
• Tried to watch The Godfather last night. An hour into it, I realized that I didn't care about any of the characters, and really didn't want to see any of them succeed or survive. So I popped out the disc.
• Also tried to watch The Triplets of Belleville. The character designs were unappealing and the movie lacked any narrative structure. After about twenty minutes, that came out of the DVD player, and I slipped in and re-enjoyed two episodes of The Critic. Amazing that I still laugh at episodes that I've seen half a dozen times.
• Classes have started again. I'm teaching two courses, and contemplating adding a third. They're only two hours long, Monday and Wednesday nights, for two and a half months, so they feel like side projects instead of part-time jobs at this point. Which is good.
• Hosted a wonderfully successful little dinner party with my parents and a few friends. The menu: Asian orange salad (spinach, mandarin oranges, crunchy Asian noodles, and sweet onion salad dressing), hearty vegetable soup, ciabatta, hearty multi-grain bread, and pumpkin pie. I plan to do a party every month or so, with a different group of four or five friends.
• I'm planning to make a short animated film from scratch. Crazy, I know, but I think it's the only way I can move forward in the animation realm. I have a plot and a high-level storyboard; I'm now drawing the full storyboard.

And that's all I can think of going on at the moment.

Posted in Misc

31 Jan 08 - I'm tired of Star Wars

Can we please put Star Wars down with the rest of the sci-fi canon and stop referencing it constantly?

Star Wars remains a special part of my childhood. I respect it, and enjoy watching it.

But it seems like there's a new YouTube Star Wars parody every week. People still joke about it. The original trilogy is thirty years old now, and it's quoted more often than any ten-year-old movie.

Frankly, I'm tired of Darth Vader. I don't care about Luke Skywalker's moral dilemmas. R2-D2's kinda boring now.

Can we please move on?

Posted in Misc

25 Jan 08 - Success with the Kindle Fan Guide

So I self-published the Kindle Fan Guide yesterday, and posted a note to the main Amazon.com Kindle forum about it. I've received eleven forum replies and two emails so far, with ideas and full-scale copyediting. I'm almost ready for a second edition, and it's not even twenty-four hours since I published the thing.

Posted in Misc

24 Jan 08 - My Kindle Fan Guide

Just finished assembling and posting The Kindle Fan Guide, a compilation of tips and information on using the Amazon Kindle. After receiving one a week ago, I assembled this book in great excitement.

What amazes me is that I'm able to offer it in print form, as a PDF, and in ebook form. They were all generated in one evening.

About the Kindle? It's great. I've been reading like I'm possessed. I've devoured several sample chapters and a whole novel in less than a week.

Posted in Misc

21 Jan 08 - Modern Lust

J.B. Philips:

Modern man has a lust for full explanation and habitually considers himself in no way morally bound unless he is in full possession of all the facts.

Posted in Misc

15 Jan 08 - Ugh

Well, it's been a long week. My computer's hard disk died last Monday, so I've been unable to update this blog.

Not quite true. I could have updated it, but didn't feel like editing the files directly on the website. Wouldn't have updated the newsfeed anyway.

This was the last of several misfortunes: my heat pump died, and my truck had heartburn. I spent a week without heat. I believe I'll be back to normal tomorrow, with a slimmer bank balance and a calmer disposition.

Oddly, I remained content through this experience. Not depressed, at least. Oh, I ground my teeth a few times, but overall I shrugged and moved on. Fortunately, none of these problems were long-term; I didn't lose any friends or family. It was just...stuff, breaking down.

Posted in Misc

29 Dec 07 - Middleburgian Adventures

This week's adventure: a trip to Middleburg.

Adventures are never sure things. That's part of what makes them adventures. Each trip carries with it the danger of total failure. "Failure" means "nothing new," in this case.

I drove down to Middleburg, stopped just inside town, and walked around. I'd been there once before, for a book signing with Dick Francis. My parents are big fans of his; I've never read any of his books through. They're well-written; just not my cup of tea.

I remember the bookstore fondly. 'Twas an old-style bookstore. Small. Lots of wood. Vaguely musty smells. Hand-written signs. Hardwood floors that echoed every boot and heel.

It's gone now, sadly, and that robbed the town of much of its appeal for me. Otherwise it's similar to Leesburg, with a stronger flavor of Hunt Country. Lots of antique shops, high-end clothing stores, and a few hole-in-the-wall delis.

I did make one discovery, though. Walking along main street, I found what looked like a bank, but promised to be a "Traditional Butcher and Graziers."

I looked inside, and my jaw dropped. It's literally an English butcher and general store. Small and densely packed, but clean and not cramped. Everything was fresh and organic. It was apparently run by a farm, so much of the dairy and produce came from a farm a few miles away.

If Middleburg weren't so far, I'd drive down here every week and buy all my groceries here. What a pity.

Posted in Misc

26 Dec 07 - This Was Christmas

This was Christmas: parents, the house I grew up in, a big tree, the dogs, and comfort.

Peace and perfection.

Posted in Misc

23 Dec 07 - 23 Dec 07

Yesterday I filled up my black truck Roger with gas, got out on the open road, and headed south. No destination in mind; I wanted to see what was there.

Ten minutes outside of town, I saw red-and-yellow streamers fluttering in the wind on the side of the road, near an antique shop. I pulled in at the long, low building, and stepped inside.

There's a mustiness peculiar to antique stores. There's always a whiff of antiseptic cleaner somewhere, but still everything feels half-buried in the dust of the centuries. Nothing caught my eye; the place was full of old coins, faded music scores, bent iron tools (half of which would've looked comfortable in a horror movie), and well-worn furniture.

So, back on the road. A few minutes later, I passed a beautiful old ruin of a brick building, pulled off the side of the road, and took a few pictures. It doesn't look burned out, but somebody abandonded this place long ago. What happened?

I returned to my truck and kept driving. I passed through the tiny town of Aldey, parked, and walked around the Old Mill, but little interested me there. There wasn't even a restaurant. I continued on.

Just as I neared the time when I needed to head back, a red, white, and blue flag proclaiming "OPEN" neared. Below it stood two signs, one naming the place a winery, the other inviting me in for hot mulled wine. Well, I thought, if they're going to be that polite about it, I'll accept.

I pulled in past acres of winter-bare vineyards, up to a house on a hill. According to a large sign, I was at Swedenburg Winery. As I stepped out of my truck, a collie mix barked "Hello" and wagged its tail. I smiled and made my way up to the house, accepting a few friendly sniffs as I went inside.

A beautiful foyer awaited me, and two lovely young women. For three George Washingtons I sampled twice that many varieties of wine, as well as the aforementioned mulled wine. The warmth spread to my bones. I ordered a bottle of it, and one of their rosé (marvellous, delicate flavor).

I returned home, content with my adventure, richer two bottles of wine and an hour's worth of memories.

Posted in Misc

21 Dec 07 - 21 Dec 07

My Wii sold for $340. I lost money, strictly, given the games that I sold with it; a new Wii is $250, each game cost $30-$50, and I had to pay $70 to ship it all next day. But it's a used system, and frankly it's one less thing on my mind. I'm happy.

I've delivered most of my Christmas cookies. If you haven't received any yet, I should be stopping by your house in the next few days.

Attended a Messiah Sing-Along concert with Mandy and Kirsten this week. Great fun. They brought their scores and sang along, and I marvelled at their amazing voices. I just stood there and listened and tried to follow along. They graciously offered a score, but I preferred to immerse myself in the river of music and swim as best I could. I think I got more out of it than if I'd been trying to read music the whole time.

I also arranged with Mandy to learn the acoustic guitar with her, and to see Enchanted this weekend. Fingers crossed on both counts.

Posted in Misc

15 Dec 07 - 15 Dec 07

My Nintendo Wii console is up for auction on eBay. I love my Wii, but I haven't played a game on it in months, despite owning several great games. I can do better things with the money it'll bring in.

It's funny about that. I just don't feel the urge to play video games. It's escapism, which is fine, but there are so many other ways in which I can escape (into a book, or into my raw imagination). I'd rather run around an alien planet in my mind than on a console. The challenges will always interest me more anyway.

Posted in Misc

12 Dec 07 - 12 Dec 07

Staying home from work today. I feel rather overwhelmed at the moment. I pushed myself to attend several social engagements in the past week. December is a busy time, and I haven't given myself enough time to recharge.

I bought myself a few toys, though: a replacement still camera, and an 80 GB iPod Classic. My only other iPod was a first-generation Shuffle, bought because it was cheap enough I was willing to experiment. I've listened to so many podcasts in the car now that I've proved its worth.

This full-scale iPod sports far more features than I need, though. Games? Don't I own an iPod so I can listen to music during idle moments?

Perhaps I'm cranky because I'm spending less time on the computer. Thanks to a wonderful conversation with Brennen, I re-evaluated my tendency to fill my spare time with computer usage. It's wonderful to spend so much of my time in the moment, cooking or drawing or gardening or what-have-you.

This also allowed me to finish Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares in a tiny fraction of the time I'd normally allowed. It's a fantastic book for any creative person. It discusses the importance of living in the moment, being self-aware, and observing what's going on around you. He recommends that, every night as you lay in bed, you try to remember as many details as possible about your day. When did you leave the house? How fast did you drive? What did the clerk say? What was the color of the car next to you? What clothes did your friend wear? When you greeted her, what did she seem to be feeling?

Since memory is a muscle, practice improves it, and gives you great oceans of material for creative projects. Think of how many inventors describe the genesis of their inventions by starting, "I just noticed that a lot of people were...." They fully saw the people around them.

May we all have such presence.

Posted in Misc

8 Dec 07 - 8 Dec 07

I've started baking my yearly Christmas cookies. I'll probably make my rounds of friends' houses this week, so if you come home late some evening to find a plate of cookies on your doorstep, that's why.

Posted in Misc

5 Dec 07 - 5 Dec 07

I came home full of purpose, ready to move forward on several projects as planned. I checked my email as I chowed down on a tuna sandwich, and noticed an email about the next writer's group meeting. I planned to present the outline for the first Giant Armors novel.

I glanced at the date. That meeting was for tonight. I had an hour to get there.

So I grabbed my materials and leapt into my truck. The fuel gauge hovered near the bottom of the scale, so I stopped for gas. I zipped down the highway. As I neared our meeting place, my eyes happened to rest on the engine temperature gauge.

It was near the red zone.

So I pulled over. This happened about two months ago, thanks to old hoses. So I popped the hood, fished a small flashlight from the bottom of the glove compartment, and checked the engine. Looked fine.

So. I drove another few miles. The temperature gauge would rise a bit, fall back to normal, rise a bit more, fall back to normal, and repeat until it neared the red zone.

So. I pulled over to the side of the road and called my parents. They found phone numbers for a few tow services; none of them were available. So. I made my way to writer's group, 20 minutes late, and nobody was there.

Called my parents again; Dad said he'd come to pick me up. I wandered Border's for a bit, then ordered some tea, sat down, and concentrated on brainstorming the ending of the Giant Armors series. Only got a few things down before Dad arrived.

So. I drove my truck to a nearby Shell station, where the friendly attendant took all the relevant information. Dad drove me back to my parents' house, where I visited for a while, then took one of their vehicles back home.

So here's the big question: Was my evening a complete waste?

I was tempted to think so a few times. In a sense, yes, In another sense, I reacted to an emergency. I didn't freak out. I evaluated options, sought advice, and resolved problems as best I could.

I decided--consciously--to stay upbeat. I didn't want to feel depressed, so I decided to act positively. Which may sound like I made myself happy. No; I was simply not depressed. I felt my frustration, acknowledged it, and let it pass.

Because, frankly, it's just one evening. Someday I'll look back on this and laugh at its pettiness. So I dealt with engine trouble for an evening. So what?

Posted in Misc

30 Nov 07 - 30 Nov 07

"Spirituality is not about solving your problems."

-- scribbled on a note card during church last Sunday

Posted in Misc

27 Nov 07 - 27 Nov 07

Observe: Charles. An atheist. A realist. If he doesn't understand it, he doesn't believe it. He'll give confusing, complicated concepts the benefit of the doubt--dark matter, quarks--but if something doesn't make sense to him, he rejects it.

If he hears about samurai sacrificing themselves for their lord, believing this will improve their karma in their next lives, he shakes his head and says, "How stupid."

If he hears of a young man attaining enlightenment while fasting and meditating under a tree in India, then quickly gaining thousands of followers, he snorts and calls it "A mystic preying on weak minds."

Charles, the world is much bigger and more complex than you can possibly comprehend. And you are poor for your so-called reality.

You are a prisoner in a dungeon, insisting that nothing exists outside of your cell.

May the rest of us avoid this trap.

(And, no, I'm not talking about Darwin.)

Posted in Misc