So I'm building an arcade game cabinet. In talking with a student today, I realized I haven't blogged about this at all. Whoops.

Arcade game cabinet? Yes, like in the arcades. Black, sloped, with a few rounded corners. I've already grabbed a spare computer from a closet, got a free big old monitor from a friend, and bought an X-Arcade controller pad.

The cabinet is made of three pieces of MDF, 4'x8'. I brought it all out to my parents' house. Dad and I cut two pieces—the sides—into 3'x6' sections, then cut a large 10"x10" notch three feet from the bottom. That's where the controller will rest. We cut a 2'x6' section for the front, then cut that into sections for a door at the bottom, and a hole at the top for the monitor. There's a 2'x2' platform about four and a half feet up, which the monitor rests on.

We screwed the pieces to a few 2"x2" boards inside, to keep it stable, and added a few two-foot-wide sections on the back for stability. We put hinges and a handle on the door, and cut a three foot wide platform for the controller. In a fit of excitement, we also cut a piece for a marquee at the top (I think I'll order a custom one from MAME Marquees).

That's about it. Once the rain stops, I'll spray paint it black, bring it home, and plug everything in. And I'll have a complete custom arcade game cabinet loaded with several dozen games, from Asteroids to Galaga to Joust to Ms. Pac-Man to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to X-Men: Children of the Atom.

Paradox:

We need to get off our butts and realize our dreams. To take our ideas and goals, and make them real. Take the first class, write the first word, pick out the instrument.

We need to not be so hard on ourselves. We rush from work to a store to home, barely acknowledge our families, hang out with friends without really getting to know them, and generally yawn away our time. We live without really living. We need to slow down and appreciate life.

Which is it? It's both. We need to slow down and pursue our dreams.

Imagine a life where you're calm and focused, where you have time for everything and everything's good and useful.

Pick a goal and go for it. Just don't rush.

Oh boy, the world's in trouble. I am far more than it can handle.

Today was my last day at RC/STS. (Again.) (For now.) The head of engineering is still trying to define a job for me, which actually looks pretty solid; he wants me, and his boss wants me. They just need to figure out what I'd actually be doing to earn a paycheck.

But I am free. Which is not to say that my time at STS was lifeless servitude; I enjoyed it, and there are lots of great people. I'm surprised by my own reaction. I didn't expect to feel this free. I feel like I've been let out of prison.

And it's not because of STS. It's because I'm free of work. Of the 9-to-5 routine. I get to define my routine now. I get to create my life.

That is freedom.

OK, so I should probably explain to you all what's going on.

I'm leaving the CM group at Rockwell Collins STS. The engineering group is creating a new part-time position that they plan to offer me, which will be open in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, I'll relax and recharge, and I'll pursue other part-time work.

Why? I'm thirty-one. I've learned a lot. I want to chart my own career course. I want to work from home on a variety of work, instead of living dependent on one source of income.

I want to wake up in the morning, take a deep breath, and know I'm in for an adventure today. To live by my wits. To hunt my pay.

And if that doesn't work out, I'll find a full-time job somewhere. I'm giving myself a few months to try this out, and see I can make of it.

It's worth a try.

Eric Hoffer:

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.

So true, isn't it? We spend so much time posturing.

It's been a weird seven days since my last post. Lots of things going on that I don't want to talk about here, because...well, why not? I don't want the wrong people to find out. I can't think of a single "wrong person."

I'm thinking of leaving my current full-time job at Rockwell Collins STS. Planning to, actually, some time in April. Mainly because I'm bored to tears with my current responsibilities, and our division isn't winning new contracts, and several coworkers are increasingly hard to work with.

It's evolved into more than that. I want to make it on my own. I want to try freelancing, taking on part-time programming work and copyediting jobs and tutoring. I want to live by my wits and my ability to hunt work.

The idea excites me, far more than going in to work every morning and sitting in the same chair for eight hours. It enlivens me, literally.

All sorts of reasons not to, of course. And it's amazing how many people will counsel you against something like this. Like it's an affront to their own desperate need for a false sense of security. I keep reminding myself of all the reasons to take the leap. I want to feel that electric sensation of being alive, of seeing things with clarity, of not having to feel grey all day.

I watched a bit of Office Space today, and I started identifying with Peter. Something's wrong.

I'm working on a 2D short animation. By myself. Yes, I'm nuts.

I'm blogging about it at Animation From Scratch. Lots of detailed musings about animation there that don't really fit on this blog (at least, not to that level of detail). Two posts thus far, each pretty long.

In other news, I wouldn't mind a different job right now.