It's been a long day. A good day, but a long and tiresome day.

And really, should I be anything other than accepting of that?

I just finished watching the Astro Boy (2003) series.

That ending was one of the best endings of anything I've ever seen. It resolves every single plot thread in ways that blow my mind. The ending is frankly better than anything Tezuka ever wrote, and I consider Tezuka a legendary writer.

I can't even think straight. I'm literally impressed beyond words.

We've had another winter storm. Several inches of snow, plus a bit of rain. I attempted a daring escape to my parents' house in the thick of the storm, but there was too much snow, and people drove even more bizarrely than usual. When I attempted to change lanes, I lost control of my truck, nearly sideswiped a BMW, slid in the other direction, and ran off the road. I was okay and got right back on the road, then promptly turned around and went back home.

I spent the rest of the day watching The Incredibles and Astro Boy (2003 version), both of which were thoroughly enjoyable. This was my fourth time watching The Incredibles, and there were even more little bits of animation to savor. There's a moment when Mr. Incredible is thrown into a river, and just before he hits you can see him curl into a ball and land on his back. Barely noticeable even on the third or fourth watching, but it adds so much to the realism of the scenes.

And Astro Boy is better near the end of the series than the beginning. The first half is peppered with standard action/adventure stories; by the second half the main theme and plot are revealed and kick into high gear. There's some great drama in here.

Last night, I attended a pinewood derby at my AWANA club. The cars were simple, the kids were hyped up, the track electronics often failed, and we were usually behind in racking up cars.

But the kids jumped up and down, the parents hollered, much pizza was consumed, and everyone had a great time. It was fantastic.

At work yesterday, we accepted a rush job: grab an entire site, burn it to a CD, and make sure it works off the CD. The disc would be picked up by a courier at 1:00 pm today (Friday). It was assigned to one of the developers here, but I pledged to be sure it was done on time.

I couldn't go to sleep last night, one reason being my worry over this. I dreaded spending all morning checking links on this site.

I arrived at work and the burned CD was sitting on the devleoper's desk. She finished it last night.

Trust your people.

And, completely unrelated:

Brennen writes:

Walt Whitman was the Led Zeppelin of American poets.

I've finally watched Battle Angel Alita, an early-90's anime OVA that was a classic for its time. It's less impressive today, though it's still a dark piece with some beautiful action sequences and a solid philosophical core.

It's set in the future, in a literal junk city. The populace lives off the junk discarded from a floating paradise above. The protagonist is an android reconstructed from state-of-the-art parts inexplicably junked from the paradise. Her friends are various "low-lifes" fighting to survive, and she decides to fight with and for them despite not needing to.

Most of the characters betray their morals to get what they want. But they all suffer for this. The anime is less an indictment of humanity as a sad display of its frailty. It seems to be saying that people are capable of good, but keep tripping themselves up.

Which is a fair assessment, I suppose.

Spent some time recently watching two favorite cartoons of my childhood, Tiny Toon Adventures and Animaniacs. Animaniacs is usually considered the better show; it could be far more funny.

But I was struck by how consistently entertaining Tiny Toons was. The humor in Animaniacs was often so left-field that I was just bored. I could watch Tiny Toons all day.

Sometimes, you can be so different that you become incomprehensible.

Last Saturday, I attended a choral concert by the Master Singers of Virginia of Rachmaninoff's Vespers. It was beautiful beyond words.

"Vespers" is actually a misnomer. It was written for the All Night Vigil, which lasts from Vespers (the evening service) through Matins (the night/early morning service) to Prime (the dawn service). Thus, the music begins by echoing the quiet, lilting liturgy of the candlelit evening service, reaching a crescendo of adoration and supplication in the middle of Matins, then calming back down just before a big finish to herald the dawning sun.

The work only lasts for an hour; it's meant to be interspersed with prayer, Scripture reading, etc. But it's amazingly beautiful. Rachmaninoff composed it like he would a symphony, so the various vocal sections mirror and complement each other in gorgeous melodic patterns.

And ironically, Rachmaninoff wrote it during the middle of World War I, just after several of his friends had died. War spurred his musical commentary, perhaps.

You can listen to MP3s or buy CDs (bottom of the page) of the Master Singers' performances.

I like to keep my lists and reminders in a little pack of index cards in one pocket. Every time I whip out my cards, I get a smirk from someone watching. Frequently, someone pulls out a PDA or celphone and shows me how they can keep their to-dos on it.

I usually just shrug, since I don't want to start an argument. But now, here are my reasons for using index cards:

• Paper has extremely high resolution: about six hundred dots per inch, compared to about one hundred for a "high-res" monitor. It supports text and graphics, and direct input. It's also full-color. Input devices are ubiquitous, standardized, and cheap.
• My data is stored in a universal format that will still be recognized fifty years from now (compared to, say, a Microsoft Word 97 file).
• It never crashes. The data is rarely corrupted (smudged), and even then has always been limited to a few words and been recoverable by context.
• It never has to be reset. It doesn't have to boot; it's always immediately on.
• It uses zero power. Its batteries never die. It never has to be recharged.
• It's almost perfectly secure. While it's in my pocket, nobody else in the world can possibly access it. If I want to securely delete the data, I burn a card and the data can't possibly be recovered by a third party.
• It can be easily backed up (using a photocopier). It can be easily archived (drop it in a file folder). It fits a wide variety of standard media.
• The display can be expanded to huge size by spreading out cards on any surface. Cards can be posted publicly on almost any surface, anywhere in the world.
• I can buy massively more storage (five hundred cards) for about three dollars.
• If I want digital storage, the data can be scanned into a computer in about ten seconds using a $70 off-the-shelf scanner.

In cruising blogs recently, I've noticed a number of references to coffee consumption. It seems that many people start every day with a cup of coffee. That's what wakes them up.

This is bad.

When I saw Pan's Labyrinth last weekend, it was preceded by an amazing advertisement. A girl pulls her family's attention to the Apollo moon launch with a murmured, "Wow." A basketball player working with kids watches one scrawny Asian kid dribble the ball around him, and the player says, "Wow." A woman out running looks at her watch, and says "Wow" as she looks back on the long road she's run.

I loved it. It was like the Apple's best ads. I couldn't wait to see if it was an Apple ad.

It was for Windows Vista. The final "Wow" came from a man using Vista's new Alt-Tab feature. Which is nice, but...this was an ad for Windows.

Which made me think. Why did I want it to be an Apple ad? (Pretty easy to answer.) Why was I disappointed to discover it was "just an ad for Windows," or more accurately, "an ad for just Windows?" (Harder to answer.)

Windows is used more than any other operating system, by far. Why doesn't it have the rabid fans that Apple has? Yes, Windows has fans. But not the rock star fanbase of Apple. Really, why not?

Brennen writes:

Microsoft doesn't have to be a technological religion. They're Soviet Russia. Tho that's a bad analogy, given that Soviet Russia tried to be a state religion, but you know what I mean. Honestly? I think being the default system that everyone runs on means that that's all you have time / incentive to do.

Good points.

Father Winter grasps us tightly and holds us close. His white hands cover earth, buildings, streets; all things natural and man-made. The only escape is inside our homes, where we hear the wind blow, and we shiver.

Which is why I spent an hour chipping away at two inches of solid ice that blocked in my truck this morning. :sigh:

Blast. I completely forgot to upload the site, and that screwed up the display of the comic. There are problems with generating this stuff manually but also based on dates.

I've started my new job at Applied Tactics. I'm mostly excited now, though fear still shoots occasional lightning through my veins. I have a solid understanding of the project I'll be working on—Kidville—and I've gained more confidence that I can do it.

But I still have doubts. I fear my knowledge of ASP, SQL Server, and other Microsoft products are too weak, and that my co-workers (despite all evidence) will denounce me as a fraud and boot me out the door. Silly, but that's how I feel.

But I know I just have to face my fear and get through the next week or two. These feelings will surely pass with time.

I've added a comic to this site. This is the one I've been drawing for a few weeks.

Oddly, I find myself apologizing for the art quality. And, yes, the art is often poor. But that's what it is, and at least I completed it.

You can also buy a print copy of the comic for $6 (through Lulu.com, a print-on-demand site). $6 feels like a lot to me for a nine-page comic, but Lulu takes $4.39 of that. I figure it's fair for me to receive $1.61 per issue sold.

On Thursday I caught a matinee of Pan's Labyrinth, the new fantasy film by Guillermo Del Toro. The fantasy aspects were perfectly done—surreal and truly fantastic--and the direction was slick as butter. A lovely piece.

But boring. I didn't care for any of the characters, and the plot just plodded along. Besides, I had problems with both plot threads: El Capitan and his pursuit of rebels, and Ofelia's exploration of the labyrinth. But El Capitan was evil and shallow, so I didn't care about his plot. And Ofelia's trials quickly got dark and disturbing, and I really didn't want to watch that.

So I walked out halfway through. Not because it was a bad film, but because it was insufficiently good. I'd rather spend that second hour, well, re-reading Lord of the Rings, if nothing else.

Side note: The only other Del Toro movie I've seen was Hellboy, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Both Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth are filled with self-absorbed characters who are paying the price for their self-absorbtion. Hellboy was interesting, because they were also bashing demons. In Pan's, there was no other distraction. It became an artsy foreign film about suffering, egotistical Europeans, with a faun. No thanks.

For the past few days, I've been experimenting. I've committed myself to one project, and spending all my spare time on it. I've taken breaks, of course, but I've kept at it. I wanted to feel that long, unrelenting push to completion.

So today, I completed a twenty-two panel, nine-page graphic novel. I sketched the last page on Thursday, so in two days I inked, scanned, and assembled twenty-two drawings. I plan to post it all here, one panel at a time, starting Monday.

It feels great.

From my sixth grade creative writing textbook:

1. Awareness — A creative person notices things that others overlook or are not even interested in. He also tries to see below the surface or the outside appearance of things.
2. Imagination — A creative person is able to look at simple things from different points of view and find enjoyment and appreciation in them.
3. Wonder — A creative person wonders about new and better ways to do things or to express himself. To a creative person, a problem becomes an opportunity to show his creativity.
4. Courage — A creative person is not discouraged when other people think that his ideas are silly. He believes in what he is doing.
5. Dedication — A creative person is willing to work—and rework—until he achieves his best. He is always jotting down words and ideas that he can use later.
6. Enthusiasm — A creative person is high-spirited. He is enthusiastic about the works and successes of others, and he is eager to improve and to help others improve. He enjoys life and is eager to share his enjoyment.

That's really good advice.

Random self-improvement suggestions:

• Once a week, cook a big meal that'll provide enough leftovers to last a few days. Chili, soup, and stew are easy.
• Explore a unique interest of yours.
• Exercise three times a week for twenty minutes.
• When next you shop for groceries, avoid the chips aisle and instead buy cheese, vegetables that you like, and a favorite salad dressing. Don't even bother making a salad; eat 'em raw.
• Drive to the nearest park and wander around. Explore a part you've never walked through before.
• Go to the nearest Goodwill or Salvation Army store, and buy a used bread machine for about $15. Make bread twice a week.
• Remove all cash, credit cards, and checks from your purse or wallet, drive to your favorite shopping location, and window shop for at least two hours. Keep a running tally of all the things you're not buying.
• Put a book on your dining room table. When you're done with dinner, read for at least ten minutes.
• Spend at least twenty minutes eating dinner (not preparing it; eating it). Judge the flavor and consistency of the food.

Note: Pick no more than three of the above suggestions to attempt in any given week. Also note: I don't do all of the above. But I wish I did.

How to pick out a technical book:

• Look for pretty covers. Seriously. Attractive covers usually means well-paid cover artists, which often means a quality book.
• Grab the O'Reilly book on that topic.
• Grab anything else that catches your eye.
• Take them all to a table, and open to the middle of the book. Look for long stretches of text. Is the text funny? Is it easy to read?

On Monday, I spent two hours sipping green tea and reading books at a nearby Borders. Among those books was Brendan Dawes's Analog In, Digital Out. I was inspired and humbled by his creativity and open eyes.

He tossed out a phrase that struck me: "The craft of iteration." That is, the repeated testing and reworking of an idea until it becomes a final product. He points out that this is (or should be) a craft, a careful process that we study and get better at.

Writing's like that; the initial story idea is just the first 1%; the main work comes in reworking and refining that idea into a story. Same wih painting, and musical composition, and programming, and industrial machinery, and creating a dress.

I carry several index cards in my pocket, on which I write reminders to myself. At the end of the day, if I've written something on a card, I drop that card in my paper inbox to later process onto an appropriate list.

Today's card, for example:

This system works well for me. I can capture any idea, anywhere.

This morning, I attended a charistmatic church for the first time.

Boy, was I surprised. I was raised roughly Baptist, then spent a few years experiencing the Anglican tradition. This was roughly the exact opposite: raised hands, lots of murmuring, speaking in tongues; even flag-waving. The service lasted for two hours, half of which we spent singing five praise songs.

But the people were welcoming; I'd like to get to know them better. I may have to endure the services to meet the people.

At least the service ends with a buffet.

A few days ago, I finished reading Kate Williamson's A Year in Japan. It's a short but sweet read, since it's mostly pictures. She painted watercolors of the many things she saw over there, and wrote about them. It's a lovely, personal work of art.

I'm envious. I want to make something like that now.

I came across How to Negotiate Copywriting Fees Without Turning Into an Asshole while reading blogs this morning. Besides being an excellent summary of a potentially tense aspect of business, it's wonderfully humane. Most of its advice can be summed up by "be self-confident," but it has great specific suggestions.

Negotiations are not just about business board rooms, either. Families and friends negotiate every day.

Tomorrow, I leave my comfortable, safe job at Rockwell Collins STS, where I've been settled for years. I'll leave a lot of friends for an unknown job.

I'm scared.